Written back in February 2014, one year old, only thing I edited to change was my age from 34 to 35 in the letter writing page here below!
Happy Valentines Day to my friends, fans, followers of my art and comedy, peers who used to see me around and want to check in online again to see what I have been up to! And why not a happy valentines day for a supermodel or two who after rejecting me as a person interested in getting to know her as a date or a friendship is once again shown up to my sites and profiles online she's ba-ack-k. The most glamorous looking scary horror movie character. Like Chucky or Freddy she shows up out of nowhere, but instead of popping out of a closet or from behind a desk face to face she is once again prowling me and my websites online with her computer device. Hey, a fan is still a fan of me, even if the crazy girl rejected me before....right? I seem to attract this type of girl:
Beautiful, noticed for her looks everywhere she goes ever since she was a child, had been mean to the nerds or not popular not cool kids back in junior high or high school, she is a tease, plays games, sends many mixed messages to guys like me one minute saying she wants to date me as her boyfriend, the next minute acting like I'm awful, sometimes with the same few days of being asked out by her after flirting with her in person, then getting rejected by her as a bothersome guy she now suddenly hates in a real hot then ice cold and cruel mean mental game she plays in order to hurt me or punish me. Punish me for what? Half the time it was the sexy girl who initiated me into a date to go out on where she got the ball rolling for that to happen. Then suddenly I'm the bad guy. Predictable in a unpredictable and dependable in an irrational way. At this point Valentines Day does not suck anymore. I am 35 now. I don't care if I don't have a girlfriend. I'm grateful for the things I do have in my life right now, like my friends who are caring and kind to me as great people to be able to get to know, some of whom are successful and down to earth nice to me supermodels, cool people are cool people and I am grateful for these friendships I have made with many different types of interesting people all around the world and in the United States! Girlfriend or not, this Valentines Day I'm happy for what I do have and not remorseful and fixated about everything I do not have access to currently. I'm not jealous or envious of anyone this year. My open hand extended to make the friendships with the model who had formerly rejected me before has never been exercised as an open available option by her before. I do not have the control over someone who hurt me with a very cold mean spirited rejection to not come back to my online profiles and websites. It's a strange world, and I seem to make a few fans of unpredictable mean girl supermodels who do not want me in her life face to face but keep returning to my websites. Not much of a fan and admirer but more of a fanatic? Hell I'll wish her a happy valentines day too, not from me as a guy with red blushing cheeks from being super bashful around the very thought of the dream girl...blah, blah, blah. But as a guy who can see that this fan probably wants a happy valentines day greeting. So there you have it. I don't got the hook up.....But I have some girls online hooked on me. Everyone should have a good life and good valentines day today if possible. Even my fans who as desirable hot girls have hurt me badly before. They want to be on here and show up here from time to time without being a friend who ever responded back to me? I don't think even they know what they really want at all anymore. It just is not as much in her life without a complicated and confusing game that she knows ways to hurt me with...It never gets old for her as a traditional method of feeling better about herself by hurting someone else. For me it is just more red tape or typical office politics to pass through once again as a staple of strange life experiences one might encounter. She doesn't even know the meaning of the word friend or trust anyways, I could not help her if she has that major flaw and mental roadblock in her way with having a healthy and meaningful not shallow or degrading lifestyle and personal intimate relationships. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? Why buy the cow when the cow due to not being real with herself or anyone else has mad cow disease and some kind of form of a mental illness she does not openly share but tries to hide and keep concealed away from everyone else. To real? To close to accurate in a few areas? What happened to the friendship I had once hoped for with you? God Bless You, I wish you all the best. I hope you can seem to find whatever it is you are searching for and missing in your life right now.
What you hope to find on this website with me the guy who you chucked to the side of the road as your roadside debris litter is for you to figure out, not me. Your the one on the website right now. you give yourself that answer as to why you are here again?! I hope you can seem to find what you feel is missing inside yourself, if my website does something for you to help you in that way, then great. As to why you rejected me and hurt me before, that behavior you did to me, not so great. It seems like you have a lot of things to figure out, and acting shallow and impulsive jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend within days of breaking up with one and then finding another does not seem to quell your thirst to feel full and not feel empty inside. Reliable validation from men for your sexy good looks can only help you stand tall for brief periods of the day, it helps sure, but you still feel jolted mentally with how little you can connect to and care about or feel like you actually relate to those around you and even yourself much of the time along those who know you and love you like your family. I am just talking out of my ass and profiling a psychology personality and background characteristics about you right now. We never became friends or a boyfriend and girlfriend couple, so there is much I would not know from about you at all. But my instincts though often wrong are many times right exactly on the target about something or someone. Or else why would you be back here again and reading this. You get asked out or hit on by famous guys and random other regular dudes walking around all the time, often many men many times a day for years, almost over half your life you have been asked out on dates on a daily basis. I am not a famous actor, athlete, or musician, you ignore and brush off most guys, including me a while back. But here you are again. Seek and you shall find. I do not know what that means. You keep tight lipped about being on my websites. But if you lip is quivering nervously very excited inside while thinking of me as you are reading this or hearing my stand up comedy jokes or admiring my artwork. You tell me what is going on? You never do, it's easier to cop out and run away hiding scared from intimacy or what you do not understand with handling your emotions. Plenty of other "bad guys" who asked you out before and used to crush on you are not remembered and you are not going to their personal websites. What is it or so interesting about me that you like? Ask yourself "Am I a liar? Am I doing something wrong to people? Should I even be on this guys website? Why did I keep going on his sites before? Why exactly did I reject him? If you say it was because I was "fill in blank" and you did not forgive me or feel comfortable about me anymore or ever again. Yes, I wrote this out for you or whom ever else is one of these run away mystery former crushes. No, I did not tell you to come here on today on Valentines day 2014 and be reading this. Thats all you. I got nothing to do with how you choose friends, relationships or life decisions you will make. Being here reading this is a life decision, maybe a small insignificant one, but one you have been making to return to go one my websites now for a long while, that is already a going on more than just a few years and counting. You couldn't quit me if you tried. Your hooked. Admit it, that the first step of any addict is to admit their powerlessness about their addiction that controls them and their decisions they make. You are most likely getting mental help from someone right now in therapy. Ask your therapist about rejecting and humiliating guys who liked you and how you can better yourself as a nice person, not a push over, but not an ice queen lead on tease to me either in how you shape your future life experiences with others. I know I'm a nerd and socially awkward in many ways. But when dealing with the smartest man in the room, you have come to expect my observations are often on target and my emotions are often higher than what is considered to be normal. Is being here on this website of the guy who you hurt when you rejected me what you want and what you really want to be doing with yourself and your time, including the valuable time to important to have been spent with me when I asked you out before I later became a rejection of yours? If I'm not "normal" enough for you....how is you being on my websites all the time spying in on me making you something of an acceptable "normal" person. You can't answer that one, can you? Every excuse you can come up with can't hold up to anyone else you know around you if you told them your excuses of why you were on here now, before, or coming back again really soon later on. See you have an imagination, you are a creative person. I'm not the only one around who it seems who can suspend disbelief about life or interactions with other people and life circumstances in order to have a rich fantasy imagination ability. your fantasy imagination and child like sense of wonder might even be stronger than mine right now? You weren't ever being honest with me before, Why would you ever bother to go and now be try and be more real and honest with yourself?
For all my other real life fans and friends who are not supermodels or the hot "It Girl" everyone goes for. Have a fun day out on Valentines day, be warm to those you love if you have someone, and if you don't have a companion or partner just try your best to enjoy your day and feel lucky about the things that make you feel warm inside, feeling pleasure and good inside with what I might notice and observe in life. I know from personal experience, that if you shine the flashlight in a dark room in tucked away corners where you can find lots of cobwebs to look at then that is what you are going to see. Life is certainly not fair or at all easy. But if you only focus on pain and things that really bother you, you will miss life's great things, like for me it is my cat, my dog, my online friends I like to write to and hear back from. Intelligent sharp minded intellectual warm and kind to me old ladies at the library used book shop who like me like a surrogate grandma and grandson. I like mingling with people and socializing very much. Their is no negative spin or outlook on making people laugh and enjoy my jokes, my stories, and my company as an entertainer class clown salesman and as a regular guy just being myself and sometimes low key as the down to earth socially awkward dude who's cool with pretty much everyone who has not tried to become a problem.
Beautiful, noticed for her looks everywhere she goes ever since she was a child, had been mean to the nerds or not popular not cool kids back in junior high or high school, she is a tease, plays games, sends many mixed messages to guys like me one minute saying she wants to date me as her boyfriend, the next minute acting like I'm awful, sometimes with the same few days of being asked out by her after flirting with her in person, then getting rejected by her as a bothersome guy she now suddenly hates in a real hot then ice cold and cruel mean mental game she plays in order to hurt me or punish me. Punish me for what? Half the time it was the sexy girl who initiated me into a date to go out on where she got the ball rolling for that to happen. Then suddenly I'm the bad guy. Predictable in a unpredictable and dependable in an irrational way. At this point Valentines Day does not suck anymore. I am 35 now. I don't care if I don't have a girlfriend. I'm grateful for the things I do have in my life right now, like my friends who are caring and kind to me as great people to be able to get to know, some of whom are successful and down to earth nice to me supermodels, cool people are cool people and I am grateful for these friendships I have made with many different types of interesting people all around the world and in the United States! Girlfriend or not, this Valentines Day I'm happy for what I do have and not remorseful and fixated about everything I do not have access to currently. I'm not jealous or envious of anyone this year. My open hand extended to make the friendships with the model who had formerly rejected me before has never been exercised as an open available option by her before. I do not have the control over someone who hurt me with a very cold mean spirited rejection to not come back to my online profiles and websites. It's a strange world, and I seem to make a few fans of unpredictable mean girl supermodels who do not want me in her life face to face but keep returning to my websites. Not much of a fan and admirer but more of a fanatic? Hell I'll wish her a happy valentines day too, not from me as a guy with red blushing cheeks from being super bashful around the very thought of the dream girl...blah, blah, blah. But as a guy who can see that this fan probably wants a happy valentines day greeting. So there you have it. I don't got the hook up.....But I have some girls online hooked on me. Everyone should have a good life and good valentines day today if possible. Even my fans who as desirable hot girls have hurt me badly before. They want to be on here and show up here from time to time without being a friend who ever responded back to me? I don't think even they know what they really want at all anymore. It just is not as much in her life without a complicated and confusing game that she knows ways to hurt me with...It never gets old for her as a traditional method of feeling better about herself by hurting someone else. For me it is just more red tape or typical office politics to pass through once again as a staple of strange life experiences one might encounter. She doesn't even know the meaning of the word friend or trust anyways, I could not help her if she has that major flaw and mental roadblock in her way with having a healthy and meaningful not shallow or degrading lifestyle and personal intimate relationships. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? Why buy the cow when the cow due to not being real with herself or anyone else has mad cow disease and some kind of form of a mental illness she does not openly share but tries to hide and keep concealed away from everyone else. To real? To close to accurate in a few areas? What happened to the friendship I had once hoped for with you? God Bless You, I wish you all the best. I hope you can seem to find whatever it is you are searching for and missing in your life right now.
What you hope to find on this website with me the guy who you chucked to the side of the road as your roadside debris litter is for you to figure out, not me. Your the one on the website right now. you give yourself that answer as to why you are here again?! I hope you can seem to find what you feel is missing inside yourself, if my website does something for you to help you in that way, then great. As to why you rejected me and hurt me before, that behavior you did to me, not so great. It seems like you have a lot of things to figure out, and acting shallow and impulsive jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend within days of breaking up with one and then finding another does not seem to quell your thirst to feel full and not feel empty inside. Reliable validation from men for your sexy good looks can only help you stand tall for brief periods of the day, it helps sure, but you still feel jolted mentally with how little you can connect to and care about or feel like you actually relate to those around you and even yourself much of the time along those who know you and love you like your family. I am just talking out of my ass and profiling a psychology personality and background characteristics about you right now. We never became friends or a boyfriend and girlfriend couple, so there is much I would not know from about you at all. But my instincts though often wrong are many times right exactly on the target about something or someone. Or else why would you be back here again and reading this. You get asked out or hit on by famous guys and random other regular dudes walking around all the time, often many men many times a day for years, almost over half your life you have been asked out on dates on a daily basis. I am not a famous actor, athlete, or musician, you ignore and brush off most guys, including me a while back. But here you are again. Seek and you shall find. I do not know what that means. You keep tight lipped about being on my websites. But if you lip is quivering nervously very excited inside while thinking of me as you are reading this or hearing my stand up comedy jokes or admiring my artwork. You tell me what is going on? You never do, it's easier to cop out and run away hiding scared from intimacy or what you do not understand with handling your emotions. Plenty of other "bad guys" who asked you out before and used to crush on you are not remembered and you are not going to their personal websites. What is it or so interesting about me that you like? Ask yourself "Am I a liar? Am I doing something wrong to people? Should I even be on this guys website? Why did I keep going on his sites before? Why exactly did I reject him? If you say it was because I was "fill in blank" and you did not forgive me or feel comfortable about me anymore or ever again. Yes, I wrote this out for you or whom ever else is one of these run away mystery former crushes. No, I did not tell you to come here on today on Valentines day 2014 and be reading this. Thats all you. I got nothing to do with how you choose friends, relationships or life decisions you will make. Being here reading this is a life decision, maybe a small insignificant one, but one you have been making to return to go one my websites now for a long while, that is already a going on more than just a few years and counting. You couldn't quit me if you tried. Your hooked. Admit it, that the first step of any addict is to admit their powerlessness about their addiction that controls them and their decisions they make. You are most likely getting mental help from someone right now in therapy. Ask your therapist about rejecting and humiliating guys who liked you and how you can better yourself as a nice person, not a push over, but not an ice queen lead on tease to me either in how you shape your future life experiences with others. I know I'm a nerd and socially awkward in many ways. But when dealing with the smartest man in the room, you have come to expect my observations are often on target and my emotions are often higher than what is considered to be normal. Is being here on this website of the guy who you hurt when you rejected me what you want and what you really want to be doing with yourself and your time, including the valuable time to important to have been spent with me when I asked you out before I later became a rejection of yours? If I'm not "normal" enough for you....how is you being on my websites all the time spying in on me making you something of an acceptable "normal" person. You can't answer that one, can you? Every excuse you can come up with can't hold up to anyone else you know around you if you told them your excuses of why you were on here now, before, or coming back again really soon later on. See you have an imagination, you are a creative person. I'm not the only one around who it seems who can suspend disbelief about life or interactions with other people and life circumstances in order to have a rich fantasy imagination ability. your fantasy imagination and child like sense of wonder might even be stronger than mine right now? You weren't ever being honest with me before, Why would you ever bother to go and now be try and be more real and honest with yourself?
For all my other real life fans and friends who are not supermodels or the hot "It Girl" everyone goes for. Have a fun day out on Valentines day, be warm to those you love if you have someone, and if you don't have a companion or partner just try your best to enjoy your day and feel lucky about the things that make you feel warm inside, feeling pleasure and good inside with what I might notice and observe in life. I know from personal experience, that if you shine the flashlight in a dark room in tucked away corners where you can find lots of cobwebs to look at then that is what you are going to see. Life is certainly not fair or at all easy. But if you only focus on pain and things that really bother you, you will miss life's great things, like for me it is my cat, my dog, my online friends I like to write to and hear back from. Intelligent sharp minded intellectual warm and kind to me old ladies at the library used book shop who like me like a surrogate grandma and grandson. I like mingling with people and socializing very much. Their is no negative spin or outlook on making people laugh and enjoy my jokes, my stories, and my company as an entertainer class clown salesman and as a regular guy just being myself and sometimes low key as the down to earth socially awkward dude who's cool with pretty much everyone who has not tried to become a problem.
