PERSONAL GOALS 2013
I HAVE A LOT OF THINGS I NEED TO DO AND TO WORK ON CHANGING ON ADDING TO MY LIFE AND LIFESTYLE AND CHOICES THAT I MAKE EVERYDAY AND LONG TERM GOALS AND AMBITIONS
Where I am at in life is very naive and rather pathetic from what others tell me and point out me all of the time. I want to be with and marry a sexy bikini model for a wife and raise adopted kids and have a house and family with this beautiful woman. People tell me that goal is delusional and objectifying women and rewarding bad behavior if they act out acting like a brazen exhibtionist or out of control as a barely clothed immoral party girl. That type of bimbo seems to impress me to no end. Sad but true, I like horny and immature and unintelligent scorching hot erotic sensual women.
Being so aware of something does not mean it is easy for me to change who I am and what seems natural to me for what I deem and find appealing and attractive. Maybe other people would choose someone else, or only flirt with women in the same circle of friends or who they have to work with and see face to face each day. I am not one of those people, for me the sheer sexually evocative bravado and brawn and cuteness of the woman is what brings me to her like a moth to the flame is what makes me feel whole inside, alive and full of excitement and vigor and energy and driven emotions pulsating through my whole body like a sexy version of an adrenaline rush, I live for these moments that feel the opposite of depressing, humiliation, sadness, or confrontational imposing to my well being or dangerous.
Everyone wants me to not like a girl if she has chosen to reject me. They tell me find someone who likes me and do not chase after the people who don't like you back Brent. I understand what they mean and are saying and trying to teach me and get through to me, but I do not know really what they are talking about! I really want to change to grow up and fit in and act and think the same as everyone else, but it seems foreign, and I don't relate to it or their viewpoints of love, dating, romance, or the world at all! Many people are hypocrites and say or preach one way of living life but act out and live by the complete opposite way of their ethics and preachy values. I either often upset or amaze people by saying exactly what I plan to do and why I am doing it or think that way. People are not used to someone so brutally honest and who does not filter or censor much of what I openly admit and say out loud to people.
I still really want to one day get married and fall madly into passionate love with a bikini model still, but everyone says to me that fantasy has dragged on way to long for to many years now and is a road to no results what so ever. That is where I am at now. I would like to find a way to handle my infatuations with my selective dream girls I desire over and not continue to make a fool out of myself over and over again. People tell me I am very naive, childlike, and sound selfish the way I view my dream girlfriends from afar. I encourage or endorse their bad naughty behaviors they brag about online by trying to chase after her and prove my love to someone I know of or know about but personally do not know or know that I can trust....because she is a fantasy girl and a stranger to me and not a confidant or close bond trustworthy friend and lover companion to me...she is more of an image or illusion like a hologram of dream girl to marry than a real life factual encounter that is not an act or make believe.
I can get more animals once I have the property space, income, and money to upkeep more pets.
If I knew what I was doing and was desirable to women I would not be perpetually single or writing this lame essay out. I guess I am very lack luster to girls or that my standards for only dating models or girls who look like hot bikini models is to high for what I could get with my current regular average guy status. I seem to pursue self absorbed and shallow women. People tell me that I myself am very shallow, and I would have to agree with them. That regular looking girls are just seen as humans, and regular people to me, but bikini models are seen as goddesses, and a freak of nature that is alluring and so captivating that once I see her there is no way out but to go with the fact that my body has chosen her for who I have now selected as my mate and dream girl I am now in intense and complete love an lust with. Not the healthiest or most respectful way to see and view women, but that is how my mind and body works somehow, I did not choose to be like this...It is the way I was born and wired to choose hot ass alpha female sex kittens as women I desire after. It upsets everyone, and I may never succeed at finding true love as I talk about so much. But I do go after what I like and what I want, I'm true to myself even if I fail myself and choose loneliness and fantasy women over a real reachable goal of a wholesome and average looking girlfriend that actually exists and responds to me in the end!
Growing up further from this point of where I am at is very difficult for me and a current uphill battle. Besides most of the bikini models are single, not married yet, and do not have kids. They do date. Dating only famous celebrity athletes, musicians, and hunks, famous bad boys...and I am not anything like these guys they seem to like and only go for macho alpha male type men with status and fame. That is not me at all. I have been told I will end up alone because my standards are way to high and selective and picky. I am already alone and this fantasy if continued would just grow with me as I age but do not really learn myself how to mature with my aging.
Being so aware of something does not mean it is easy for me to change who I am and what seems natural to me for what I deem and find appealing and attractive. Maybe other people would choose someone else, or only flirt with women in the same circle of friends or who they have to work with and see face to face each day. I am not one of those people, for me the sheer sexually evocative bravado and brawn and cuteness of the woman is what brings me to her like a moth to the flame is what makes me feel whole inside, alive and full of excitement and vigor and energy and driven emotions pulsating through my whole body like a sexy version of an adrenaline rush, I live for these moments that feel the opposite of depressing, humiliation, sadness, or confrontational imposing to my well being or dangerous.
Everyone wants me to not like a girl if she has chosen to reject me. They tell me find someone who likes me and do not chase after the people who don't like you back Brent. I understand what they mean and are saying and trying to teach me and get through to me, but I do not know really what they are talking about! I really want to change to grow up and fit in and act and think the same as everyone else, but it seems foreign, and I don't relate to it or their viewpoints of love, dating, romance, or the world at all! Many people are hypocrites and say or preach one way of living life but act out and live by the complete opposite way of their ethics and preachy values. I either often upset or amaze people by saying exactly what I plan to do and why I am doing it or think that way. People are not used to someone so brutally honest and who does not filter or censor much of what I openly admit and say out loud to people.
I still really want to one day get married and fall madly into passionate love with a bikini model still, but everyone says to me that fantasy has dragged on way to long for to many years now and is a road to no results what so ever. That is where I am at now. I would like to find a way to handle my infatuations with my selective dream girls I desire over and not continue to make a fool out of myself over and over again. People tell me I am very naive, childlike, and sound selfish the way I view my dream girlfriends from afar. I encourage or endorse their bad naughty behaviors they brag about online by trying to chase after her and prove my love to someone I know of or know about but personally do not know or know that I can trust....because she is a fantasy girl and a stranger to me and not a confidant or close bond trustworthy friend and lover companion to me...she is more of an image or illusion like a hologram of dream girl to marry than a real life factual encounter that is not an act or make believe.
I can get more animals once I have the property space, income, and money to upkeep more pets.
If I knew what I was doing and was desirable to women I would not be perpetually single or writing this lame essay out. I guess I am very lack luster to girls or that my standards for only dating models or girls who look like hot bikini models is to high for what I could get with my current regular average guy status. I seem to pursue self absorbed and shallow women. People tell me that I myself am very shallow, and I would have to agree with them. That regular looking girls are just seen as humans, and regular people to me, but bikini models are seen as goddesses, and a freak of nature that is alluring and so captivating that once I see her there is no way out but to go with the fact that my body has chosen her for who I have now selected as my mate and dream girl I am now in intense and complete love an lust with. Not the healthiest or most respectful way to see and view women, but that is how my mind and body works somehow, I did not choose to be like this...It is the way I was born and wired to choose hot ass alpha female sex kittens as women I desire after. It upsets everyone, and I may never succeed at finding true love as I talk about so much. But I do go after what I like and what I want, I'm true to myself even if I fail myself and choose loneliness and fantasy women over a real reachable goal of a wholesome and average looking girlfriend that actually exists and responds to me in the end!
Growing up further from this point of where I am at is very difficult for me and a current uphill battle. Besides most of the bikini models are single, not married yet, and do not have kids. They do date. Dating only famous celebrity athletes, musicians, and hunks, famous bad boys...and I am not anything like these guys they seem to like and only go for macho alpha male type men with status and fame. That is not me at all. I have been told I will end up alone because my standards are way to high and selective and picky. I am already alone and this fantasy if continued would just grow with me as I age but do not really learn myself how to mature with my aging.
